Somehow, some way … 80s fashion is coming back. Pretty soon we will be seeing lots of … acid washed denim. Lots of shoulder pads. Lots of bows — big ones — and lots of leotards. There might be leg warmers and big, bright geometric prints. There might even be trophy jackets.

The only redeeming quality of this inexplicable trend is that there will be a definitive 2009 kind of twist … but I don’t know how much better that makes the whole thing. It means that all that stuff up there gets paired with really sharp lines and close tailoring, ankle boots with a little chunk, and dewy, lolita like makeup.

There will be leggings and junk in colors like … oyster and coral. So you might end up looking like your grandma trying to dress up for some kind of 1980s theme party.